As I reflect on my love for travel and my longing after aspen trees in fall and wildflowers in spring I'm often troubled because it seems that my desire to visit and bask in all the beautiful places I can find is tinged by more than a little discontent. I want to see all the aspens and the most beautiful ones. I want the best wildflowers. In fact, I think I rather want to be God. All this beauty that no one sees that I want to see and at heart the mingled toddler's cries of "But I want it!" and "It's not fair!" But it's not wasted. Why shouldn't God have a few spectacular sunsets to Himself? Hasn't He provided me with sunsets and clouds and turning leaves of all descriptions? Aren't I perhaps I little ungrateful for the bounty I've already been given that I turn so rapidly away and wonder "perhaps I could have exchanged it for something better?" In my redeemed soul there is hopefully a Godly longing for beauty and creation that God is using for my own sanctification, but on the flesh side there's a whole lot of clamoring for more, More, MORE!
What I'm going to do about this I have no earthly idea besides confess it ten thousand times and then unwittingly (or unthinkingly) encourage it again and again. Well, and try to be a whole lot more thankful. I suppose that's a start.
So there you have it. I actually would like to be God. This probably surprises no one except myself. Odd how that happens.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Created to Be His Help Meet: Part 1 (Wisdom)
As I've moved into the section on wisdom I've found that there are some great one-liners and some real head-scratchers bumping elbows. Let's start with this one:
Moving on a few inches we find two very different statements sharing a paragraph. It starts by saying that regardless of the man (good, bad, or indifferent) you can have a good marriage by being a certain kind of wife. Glad to see that Mrs. Pearl has never met a thoroughly bad man who despised his wife and took all her patience and sweetness as fuel to his malignancy, or (to be less dramatic) a thoroughly worldly one who good-humoredly decided he like to trade in for an earlier model. But then she turns around with the completely true statement that we (wives) serve Christ by serving our husbands whether or not they've earned it (50). Rather odd bedfellows those two. With regards to that first statement I'm suddenly reminded of that passage in the Bible where we're told that if an unbelieving spouse wants to leave we should let them. I wonder how that would jive with Mrs. Pearl's "anything but divorce" stance?
On the opening page of chapter six I noticed that during my first reading I'd written (in good lolcat form) "I can has nuance?" Yeah, not exactly something that Mrs. Pearl does very well I don't think. Consider this statement: ""We live under a law of sowing and reaping that is a certain and unrelenting as disease and death (57)." Now recall Ecclesiastes' famous observation, "The race is not to the swift." Although God says that sowing and reaping are intrinsically linked, in Ecclesiastes God also reminds us not to be simplistic about applying this principle. Diligence is from the Lord, but it's not magic lever whereby we force Heaven to open up and bless us. Sometimes good, careful, intelligent people get their life savings wiped out or labor for years in obscure jobs. I reckon that's why it's so important for us to delight in the Lord. He's really the only thing guaranteed never to fail.
The rest of chapter six largely concerns an interesting (albeit over the top) example of a woman who was consumed with bitterness and her own willful spirituality and who eventually went stark staring mad. Considering that my mom isn't the sanest woman around (and can also be highly critical) I have to wonder whether there's a fair bit of truth to her story, but moving on...
Chapter seven is pretty much an extended (dare I say diatribe) on the dangers of divorce and absolutely miserable life a woman can expect if she dares to stand up for just about anything. To be fair I'm getting the impression at this point that Mrs. Pearl is talking about a woman who could make a husband long for his loving mistress simply by the manner in which she asks him to hang up his jacket. On this reread I was rather more impressed by her role in the "why on earth would you pay so much for meat" episode than I was before. While her husband appears thoroughly autocratic and unpleasant, Mrs. Pearl really does come off as a smug, superior housewife. I just wish the implication wasn't that it's wrong to say anything. If there's a bad way to say "Did you notice there's a cheaper option?" I'm pretty sure there's also a good way. Perhaps I'm speaking for my marriage alone, but if I respectfully ask if Allen overlooked something there's a fairly good chance that he'll thank me for pointing it out and say that he hadn't. It's just not that big a deal. Lesson from this chapter? A critical spirit can sink your marriage faster than the Lusitania. As Mrs. Pearl put it, "He practices his faults, and you practice your bitterness. You are both practicing divorce." I'd have to agree.
God made you to fulfill this eternal vision. Until you embrace that divine plan for your life, your life will never make sense. You will always be struggling. When you can finally let go and believe God, life will become so simple that you won't have to wonder what you should do. You will know (49 emphasis mine).Could this be part of the problem with CTBHHM? Last time I checked life doesn't become a one-lane highway once you become a Christian and surrender to God. As my pastor once told us - the fences that God put up (ie the Law) are really fences, and we should really stay inside of them. Once you're inside the fence though? You can go roaming around all you want. Sometimes you'll find yourself tripping over your own feet, but just because you scraped your knees doesn't mean you sinned. That's one reason it's called wisdom.
Moving on a few inches we find two very different statements sharing a paragraph. It starts by saying that regardless of the man (good, bad, or indifferent) you can have a good marriage by being a certain kind of wife. Glad to see that Mrs. Pearl has never met a thoroughly bad man who despised his wife and took all her patience and sweetness as fuel to his malignancy, or (to be less dramatic) a thoroughly worldly one who good-humoredly decided he like to trade in for an earlier model. But then she turns around with the completely true statement that we (wives) serve Christ by serving our husbands whether or not they've earned it (50). Rather odd bedfellows those two. With regards to that first statement I'm suddenly reminded of that passage in the Bible where we're told that if an unbelieving spouse wants to leave we should let them. I wonder how that would jive with Mrs. Pearl's "anything but divorce" stance?
On the opening page of chapter six I noticed that during my first reading I'd written (in good lolcat form) "I can has nuance?" Yeah, not exactly something that Mrs. Pearl does very well I don't think. Consider this statement: ""We live under a law of sowing and reaping that is a certain and unrelenting as disease and death (57)." Now recall Ecclesiastes' famous observation, "The race is not to the swift." Although God says that sowing and reaping are intrinsically linked, in Ecclesiastes God also reminds us not to be simplistic about applying this principle. Diligence is from the Lord, but it's not magic lever whereby we force Heaven to open up and bless us. Sometimes good, careful, intelligent people get their life savings wiped out or labor for years in obscure jobs. I reckon that's why it's so important for us to delight in the Lord. He's really the only thing guaranteed never to fail.
The rest of chapter six largely concerns an interesting (albeit over the top) example of a woman who was consumed with bitterness and her own willful spirituality and who eventually went stark staring mad. Considering that my mom isn't the sanest woman around (and can also be highly critical) I have to wonder whether there's a fair bit of truth to her story, but moving on...
Chapter seven is pretty much an extended (dare I say diatribe) on the dangers of divorce and absolutely miserable life a woman can expect if she dares to stand up for just about anything. To be fair I'm getting the impression at this point that Mrs. Pearl is talking about a woman who could make a husband long for his loving mistress simply by the manner in which she asks him to hang up his jacket. On this reread I was rather more impressed by her role in the "why on earth would you pay so much for meat" episode than I was before. While her husband appears thoroughly autocratic and unpleasant, Mrs. Pearl really does come off as a smug, superior housewife. I just wish the implication wasn't that it's wrong to say anything. If there's a bad way to say "Did you notice there's a cheaper option?" I'm pretty sure there's also a good way. Perhaps I'm speaking for my marriage alone, but if I respectfully ask if Allen overlooked something there's a fairly good chance that he'll thank me for pointing it out and say that he hadn't. It's just not that big a deal. Lesson from this chapter? A critical spirit can sink your marriage faster than the Lusitania. As Mrs. Pearl put it, "He practices his faults, and you practice your bitterness. You are both practicing divorce." I'd have to agree.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Created to Be His Help Meet: Part 1 (Thankfulness)
I'm wondering if this is going to be a pattern throughout this book - every other chapter being somewhat worth reading if it wasn't sandwiched in between so many monumental bloopers. At any rate the third chapter goes on to laud thankfulness as another beautifying and endearing trait for wives to cultivate. Mrs. Pearl wisely points out that thankfulness is largely habit and that even the most grumbling natures can practice thankfulness before God and their husbands. Since most men are driven to provide it doesn't take a savant to realize how important this can be to family peace.
The fourth chapter develops this theme by pointing out how thankfulness can end up guarding our own hearts against much frustration. I admit I don't really see the joke of having to clean up a bag of trash because your husband was showing off, but then again I probably wouldn't hide in the laundry room in order to scare him. More power to them I reckon. Her main point is that thankfulness produces a joy that makes husbands and wives joyful playmates more quick to laugh than fret. Amen. Where I lose Mrs. Pearl is when she that she has this sort of marriage because of choices that she made and that by making similar choices you can "control" what kind of marriage you have (40,42). Sounds a whole lot like backseat driving when you consider that husbands are heads of their wives.
As I read through chapter 4 I noticed some more odd theology about women (remember me questioning her ideas on single women?). There's a tiny paragraph that I think is worth quoting in full:
The next few chapters seem to be on wisdom. I'll get to them later today or tomorrow. Right now this housewife has to packing to do. We've got an ETA of 6 weeks, and things are getting busy.
The fourth chapter develops this theme by pointing out how thankfulness can end up guarding our own hearts against much frustration. I admit I don't really see the joke of having to clean up a bag of trash because your husband was showing off, but then again I probably wouldn't hide in the laundry room in order to scare him. More power to them I reckon. Her main point is that thankfulness produces a joy that makes husbands and wives joyful playmates more quick to laugh than fret. Amen. Where I lose Mrs. Pearl is when she that she has this sort of marriage because of choices that she made and that by making similar choices you can "control" what kind of marriage you have (40,42). Sounds a whole lot like backseat driving when you consider that husbands are heads of their wives.
As I read through chapter 4 I noticed some more odd theology about women (remember me questioning her ideas on single women?). There's a tiny paragraph that I think is worth quoting in full:
Because I have known such love and closeness with a man, subsequently my understanding of God and my appreciation for him are so much deeper. A relationship based on law, rules, willful humility, and formality is death. I have learned to approach God just as I approach my husband with love, joy, and delight (44).Again, I know this is written to wives, but where does this leave all the other women? It's a no brainer that wives would experience God differently than single women, but then again farmers, navy captains, and architects also experience God differently from teachers, painters, and biologists. That's the nature of believing in a God who deals in metaphor and narrative. Certain parts of our own stories will align more or less closely with parts of God's revealed story. Speaking of which, her interpretation of Luke 7:38 baffles me. I was pretty sure that standard interpretation is that this woman was washing and anointing Christ both for his burial and in judgment of the Pharisees who condemned Him. Instead Mrs. Pearl turns it into a story of guilt over her daring to soil the feet of Jesus with her tears. One question for Mrs. Pearl - if that's the case then why does Jesus say she hadn't ceased kissing His feet? Something doesn't seem to add up here.
The next few chapters seem to be on wisdom. I'll get to them later today or tomorrow. Right now this housewife has to packing to do. We've got an ETA of 6 weeks, and things are getting busy.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Created to Be His Help Meet: Part 1
Since CTBHHM is divided into so many chapters and parts I can't guarantee that I'll divide my reviews up quite as logically - particularly since this promises to become more a page by page commentary than a connected set of chapter summaries and reviews.
Part 1, chapter 1 starts off rather well. She opens by reminding the reader just how much work a good marriage takes. This isn't something that just happens, and even Mr. Darcy probably has a habit of humming under his breath while paying bills that makes dearest Lizzie contemplate the decorative swords above the mantel. Yet, despite our husband's shortcomings we are called to be cheerful, willing helpers. It's not that we wouldn't perhaps do a better job ourselves, Mrs. Pearl rightly points out that such contemplations are entirely beside the point, but that it's not our job. Women are to help meets eagerly searching for new ways to bless their husbands. Amen and pass the conviction. Much as I love Allen and I can't say that I'm nearly as eager for his welfare as I should be. If Debi kept to this line of thought I'd be writing an entirely different sort of review, but even here we find troubling hints of the arguments to come. For instance, in talking about the roles of wives Debi entirely skips over any idea that women may have a separate existence. I realize this is a book written to wives and not single women, but occasionally I wonder how she feels about lovely single ladies (we all know them) who, by the grace of God, remain single (pg 23)? Consider this excerpt -"You are, by nature, equipped in every way to be your man's helper. You are inferior to none as long as you function within your created nature...You were created to make him complete, not to seek personal fulfillment parallel to him (21)." Since I'm not even sure what she means by parallel personal fulfillment I'll leave that alone, but I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this. It raises a few questions. Are single women inferior? Is it possible for women (single or widowed) to have purpose aside from men? We can charitably assume that Mrs. Pearl doesn't mean these things, but her prose makes it unclear. One could possible surmise that in her fervent defense of submissive, helper-wives Mrs. Pearl has lost sight of women's larger importance in the church. And here, "in the church," might be the crux of my issues with Mrs. Pearl - something that will become more clear when we discuss the next chapter.
Chapter two starts off with the delightful premise that more women (particularly wives) should take care to wear some of that "joy of the Lord" on the outside where it can beautify their features and enchant their husbands. This isn't something I read so often in the marriage advice genre, and it's something my husband agrees should be said more often. Cheerful, playful wives are way more attractive than doleful, long-faced ones, and the wise wife will keep this in mind while applying her lip gloss. Unfortunately the rest of this chapter slides downhill rapidly from here. After laying out her laudable "cheerful wife" principle, Mrs. Pearl goes on to apply it to a situation concerning a wife whose husband is having an emotional affair. This section has been reviewed elsewhere on the internet, so I'll try to stick with what particularly struck Allen and me. First off this big blooper: "God has provided for your husband's complete sanctification and deliverance from temptation through you, his wife (29)." Allen's remark on this statement was that it's enough to condemn the book out of hand. While God might use temporal agents (a neighbor or a parent) to share His grace, sanctification and deliverance come solely through Jesus Christ and His righteousness. A wife might be an agent of grace, but these agents of grace cannot be considered meritorious in any effective way. The credit is completely God's. Unfortunately it doesn't stop there. Debi Pearl goes on the paint a dreary picture of the indignant, condemning wife standing on her rights and vows and eventually driving her lonely husband back into his secretary's arms while she (the wife) is forced into poverty with her poor government schooled kids, having no prospects of love before except a soul crushing repetition of the same round with a man of another name. First, one can't read through this section without realizing that Debi is either projecting a whole lot or holding much of the previously quoted letter back. (For instance, nowhere does the wife's letter indicate that she's been scolding or that her husband has been lonely/excluded from sex.) Secondly, one can also clearly see just why this book is so poisonous. Mrs. Pearl says "You cannot be pitiful enough to force him to love you (30)." This is very true. If this woman wants to win her husband's love she's not going to do with mopes and accusations. However, Mrs. Pearl completely glosses over any sort of repentance of reconciliation. She goes so far as to say that waiting for repentance may lose this woman her husband completely - with all its dire implications of loneliness and poverty.
This is where we find most the poison. If Mrs. Pearl was saying "Once your husband has repented and shown a desire to be reconciled you have to give him something to he can desire. You're probably feeling very bruised right now, but even if you don't trust him (and I'm not saying you should right away) you need to be a person he can fall madly in love with again. This is going to be a whole lot harder if you wear your heart on your sleeve and look at him reproachfully over your morning eggs." Nope, Mrs. Pearl jumps right over repentance and tells the wife to dive into direct competition with the office hussy to win her husband back. There are so many problems with this. First off, Mrs. Pearl never suggests the wife get a pastor/higher authority involved. Second, the husband receives absolutely no accountability or an attempt to bring him back into right relationship with God. Third, the wife is demeaning herself (and her wedding vows) by acting as if a legitimate competition over his affections existed. Fourth, Mrs. Pearl is assuming that this husband won't take his wife's acquiescence as license to do whatever he wants since his wife is too desperate or dumb to care/notice. Fifth, the implication is husbands get smiles, sex, and blushes because they may go off the rails if they don't, but women get these things because they've worked hard to earn every single one. If this isn't the oddest conception of marriage I don't know what is. I'm pretty darn sure that I didn't earn all my husband's affection, and yet I'm also pretty sure that Allen has earned quite a bit of mine through his patient, tender care.
Hopefully you can see the problems. Taken alone many of Debi Pearl's statements have merit. Men aren't won by critical wives. They do love cheerful appreciation. Standing for your marriage vows might end with your husband packing his bags. The problem is when you put all together and end up with wives acting like their husband's are always in the sexual marketplace - not because a wise wife will see her husband's sexual needs met, but because he literally might be searching the sexual marketplace at any time. At that point what difference is there between Christian wives and Park Avenue trophy wives? Less alimony I suppose. I believe the whole point of this is found in this statement: "Recognize that you are at war for the preservation of God's most noble institution on earth -the family (30)." Unfortunately this simply isn't true. God's family (The Church) trumps all earthly families. It is to the Church that we owe our most basic loyalties. Don't believe me? Consider how Christ said that He came to bring not peace but a sword and went on to list how basic family structures would be torn apart as some answered and some resisted the call of Christ. Divorce is a bad thing, but breaking up a family isn't the worst thing. Even excommunication (roughly equivalent to divorce from the church) is supposed to be part of a larger call back to repentance and fellowship. Unfortunately Mrs. Pearl doesn't see this, and without the church there really is very little she can recommend a wife do besides order a new garter belt and try again.
Part 1, chapter 1 starts off rather well. She opens by reminding the reader just how much work a good marriage takes. This isn't something that just happens, and even Mr. Darcy probably has a habit of humming under his breath while paying bills that makes dearest Lizzie contemplate the decorative swords above the mantel. Yet, despite our husband's shortcomings we are called to be cheerful, willing helpers. It's not that we wouldn't perhaps do a better job ourselves, Mrs. Pearl rightly points out that such contemplations are entirely beside the point, but that it's not our job. Women are to help meets eagerly searching for new ways to bless their husbands. Amen and pass the conviction. Much as I love Allen and I can't say that I'm nearly as eager for his welfare as I should be. If Debi kept to this line of thought I'd be writing an entirely different sort of review, but even here we find troubling hints of the arguments to come. For instance, in talking about the roles of wives Debi entirely skips over any idea that women may have a separate existence. I realize this is a book written to wives and not single women, but occasionally I wonder how she feels about lovely single ladies (we all know them) who, by the grace of God, remain single (pg 23)? Consider this excerpt -"You are, by nature, equipped in every way to be your man's helper. You are inferior to none as long as you function within your created nature...You were created to make him complete, not to seek personal fulfillment parallel to him (21)." Since I'm not even sure what she means by parallel personal fulfillment I'll leave that alone, but I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this. It raises a few questions. Are single women inferior? Is it possible for women (single or widowed) to have purpose aside from men? We can charitably assume that Mrs. Pearl doesn't mean these things, but her prose makes it unclear. One could possible surmise that in her fervent defense of submissive, helper-wives Mrs. Pearl has lost sight of women's larger importance in the church. And here, "in the church," might be the crux of my issues with Mrs. Pearl - something that will become more clear when we discuss the next chapter.
Chapter two starts off with the delightful premise that more women (particularly wives) should take care to wear some of that "joy of the Lord" on the outside where it can beautify their features and enchant their husbands. This isn't something I read so often in the marriage advice genre, and it's something my husband agrees should be said more often. Cheerful, playful wives are way more attractive than doleful, long-faced ones, and the wise wife will keep this in mind while applying her lip gloss. Unfortunately the rest of this chapter slides downhill rapidly from here. After laying out her laudable "cheerful wife" principle, Mrs. Pearl goes on to apply it to a situation concerning a wife whose husband is having an emotional affair. This section has been reviewed elsewhere on the internet, so I'll try to stick with what particularly struck Allen and me. First off this big blooper: "God has provided for your husband's complete sanctification and deliverance from temptation through you, his wife (29)." Allen's remark on this statement was that it's enough to condemn the book out of hand. While God might use temporal agents (a neighbor or a parent) to share His grace, sanctification and deliverance come solely through Jesus Christ and His righteousness. A wife might be an agent of grace, but these agents of grace cannot be considered meritorious in any effective way. The credit is completely God's. Unfortunately it doesn't stop there. Debi Pearl goes on the paint a dreary picture of the indignant, condemning wife standing on her rights and vows and eventually driving her lonely husband back into his secretary's arms while she (the wife) is forced into poverty with her poor government schooled kids, having no prospects of love before except a soul crushing repetition of the same round with a man of another name. First, one can't read through this section without realizing that Debi is either projecting a whole lot or holding much of the previously quoted letter back. (For instance, nowhere does the wife's letter indicate that she's been scolding or that her husband has been lonely/excluded from sex.) Secondly, one can also clearly see just why this book is so poisonous. Mrs. Pearl says "You cannot be pitiful enough to force him to love you (30)." This is very true. If this woman wants to win her husband's love she's not going to do with mopes and accusations. However, Mrs. Pearl completely glosses over any sort of repentance of reconciliation. She goes so far as to say that waiting for repentance may lose this woman her husband completely - with all its dire implications of loneliness and poverty.
This is where we find most the poison. If Mrs. Pearl was saying "Once your husband has repented and shown a desire to be reconciled you have to give him something to he can desire. You're probably feeling very bruised right now, but even if you don't trust him (and I'm not saying you should right away) you need to be a person he can fall madly in love with again. This is going to be a whole lot harder if you wear your heart on your sleeve and look at him reproachfully over your morning eggs." Nope, Mrs. Pearl jumps right over repentance and tells the wife to dive into direct competition with the office hussy to win her husband back. There are so many problems with this. First off, Mrs. Pearl never suggests the wife get a pastor/higher authority involved. Second, the husband receives absolutely no accountability or an attempt to bring him back into right relationship with God. Third, the wife is demeaning herself (and her wedding vows) by acting as if a legitimate competition over his affections existed. Fourth, Mrs. Pearl is assuming that this husband won't take his wife's acquiescence as license to do whatever he wants since his wife is too desperate or dumb to care/notice. Fifth, the implication is husbands get smiles, sex, and blushes because they may go off the rails if they don't, but women get these things because they've worked hard to earn every single one. If this isn't the oddest conception of marriage I don't know what is. I'm pretty darn sure that I didn't earn all my husband's affection, and yet I'm also pretty sure that Allen has earned quite a bit of mine through his patient, tender care.
Hopefully you can see the problems. Taken alone many of Debi Pearl's statements have merit. Men aren't won by critical wives. They do love cheerful appreciation. Standing for your marriage vows might end with your husband packing his bags. The problem is when you put all together and end up with wives acting like their husband's are always in the sexual marketplace - not because a wise wife will see her husband's sexual needs met, but because he literally might be searching the sexual marketplace at any time. At that point what difference is there between Christian wives and Park Avenue trophy wives? Less alimony I suppose. I believe the whole point of this is found in this statement: "Recognize that you are at war for the preservation of God's most noble institution on earth -the family (30)." Unfortunately this simply isn't true. God's family (The Church) trumps all earthly families. It is to the Church that we owe our most basic loyalties. Don't believe me? Consider how Christ said that He came to bring not peace but a sword and went on to list how basic family structures would be torn apart as some answered and some resisted the call of Christ. Divorce is a bad thing, but breaking up a family isn't the worst thing. Even excommunication (roughly equivalent to divorce from the church) is supposed to be part of a larger call back to repentance and fellowship. Unfortunately Mrs. Pearl doesn't see this, and without the church there really is very little she can recommend a wife do besides order a new garter belt and try again.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Created to be His Help Meet : a probably biased review
Once more into the breach as they say. I'm really bad at finishing book reviews, but this is one that's been simmering for over a year. I first read CTBHHM when my future sister-in-law mentioned that she was reading it. To be very honest, when I heard that I felt sick to my stomach. I hadn't read the book yet, but I'd heard enough to make me doubt whether this book could help anyone - particularly someone whose own experience with marriage (second-hand) hadn't been the best. So in the hopes of having a long chat over coffee I ordered myself a copy and read it. That chat never really happened. My sister-in-law, while being a lovely person, is a true introvert, and with living cross country I haven't had the time and opportunity to invest in our relationship. So if you, my quiet blog reader, wouldn't mind, I'd like to have that chat now. I warn you ahead of time that I'm not disposed to like this book and talk dispassionately about all the good things you can take away from it. I'm more concerned with the pitfalls and dangerous advice that permeate this book. That's not to say that there aren't good points in this book. There are - I just feel the bad far outweighs the good.
I have to say this book starts out with a huge howler. Debi Pearl had been meaning to catch the preacher for something like seven years - this is the fellow so high strung sexually that he wouldn't even shake hands with the little old ladies in his congregation*. Naturally, Debi drops a hint along the lines of "Someday I'd like to give you a little boy (p14)." Admittedly this after said pastor made the roaring indiscretion of holding her hand during a prayer meeting, so perhaps there were extenuating circumstances. Anyway, they get married. And, from this book's perspective, that's when the real fun started. Having admitted just a few pages later that she once threw rocks at her husband I wonder if perhaps that's not a key to understanding this book. If you're the kind of woman who's so very highly strung (think Kate from The Taming of the Shrew) that you make everyone around dance attendance and then fault them on their footwork you might very well need a book like this to shake you till your teeth start dancing in time to the tune you've been playing for everyone else. Most of us though, don't throw rocks at our husbands. (In fact I'm rather sure that too few of us are throwing pillows and that the lack of busted pillows needing to be replaced is a factor in our sluggish economy.) Anyway, all this to say that I will at the front concede that there are probably women of monumental tempers who need lecture quite this stern to get them down to normal levels. For the rest of us though, I find Mrs. Pearl's advice highly problematic, but we'll get into that when we move on to Part 1 of CTBHHM.
*You know there are some forms sexual discretion that are nearly as creepy as open leering. Refusing a simple handclasp with a woman old enough to be your grandmother because of heaven's knows what temptations is really high on that list.
I have to say this book starts out with a huge howler. Debi Pearl had been meaning to catch the preacher for something like seven years - this is the fellow so high strung sexually that he wouldn't even shake hands with the little old ladies in his congregation*. Naturally, Debi drops a hint along the lines of "Someday I'd like to give you a little boy (p14)." Admittedly this after said pastor made the roaring indiscretion of holding her hand during a prayer meeting, so perhaps there were extenuating circumstances. Anyway, they get married. And, from this book's perspective, that's when the real fun started. Having admitted just a few pages later that she once threw rocks at her husband I wonder if perhaps that's not a key to understanding this book. If you're the kind of woman who's so very highly strung (think Kate from The Taming of the Shrew) that you make everyone around dance attendance and then fault them on their footwork you might very well need a book like this to shake you till your teeth start dancing in time to the tune you've been playing for everyone else. Most of us though, don't throw rocks at our husbands. (In fact I'm rather sure that too few of us are throwing pillows and that the lack of busted pillows needing to be replaced is a factor in our sluggish economy.) Anyway, all this to say that I will at the front concede that there are probably women of monumental tempers who need lecture quite this stern to get them down to normal levels. For the rest of us though, I find Mrs. Pearl's advice highly problematic, but we'll get into that when we move on to Part 1 of CTBHHM.
*You know there are some forms sexual discretion that are nearly as creepy as open leering. Refusing a simple handclasp with a woman old enough to be your grandmother because of heaven's knows what temptations is really high on that list.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Pasta Shells with Kale and White Wine Sauce
So a while back Allen and I went to this Italian place nearby and had a regular splurge - pasta, wine, tiramisu, the works. Ever since then I've been wanting to return and get this orecchietti with sausage and kale, but then I found out it was a temporary special.
Bummer.
So I put together this little pasta dish instead. It's not the orecchietti that I had last spring, but it's an acceptable substitute for now.
Ingredients:
1lb mild Italian sausage (the original used chicken sausage, but I used pork this time)
1med onion
handful brown mushrooms
1med zucchini
4-5 cloves garlic well minced
1 bunch kale
2tbs (or thereabouts) sundried tomatoes
salt and pepper
veg bullion
white wine
cream
2 large-ish sprigs rosemary
red pepper flakes
Orriecchetti (I used brown rice pasta shells)
Method:
Start your sausages browning and begin chopping your vegetables. Might want to go ahead and put a pot on to boil so you aren't waiting at the last minute. Saute your onions in a little oil until they start to brown and then add your sliced mushrooms and minced garlic. Once your mushrooms are soft toss in the zucchini and sundried tomatoes and top off with a cup or so of white wine (preferably dry), several glugs of cream, one bullion cube (or equiv), and whole rosemary sprigs. Season with salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes to taste. Slice browned sausages and add to the pan. Allow to simmer 10-15 minutes or until sauce is reduced and flavors combine. Go ahead and cook your pasta now. In the last couple minutes (while the pasta is cooking) add the chopped kale to the top of the pan and cover with a lid so that the greens wilt. Drain your pasta and toss with sausage and veg. Dish up and eat with a good grating of Parmesan cheese. It's right tasty. Also, kale is good for you :)
Bummer.
So I put together this little pasta dish instead. It's not the orecchietti that I had last spring, but it's an acceptable substitute for now.
Ingredients:
1lb mild Italian sausage (the original used chicken sausage, but I used pork this time)
1med onion
handful brown mushrooms
1med zucchini
4-5 cloves garlic well minced
1 bunch kale
2tbs (or thereabouts) sundried tomatoes
salt and pepper
veg bullion
white wine
cream
2 large-ish sprigs rosemary
red pepper flakes
Orriecchetti (I used brown rice pasta shells)
Method:
Start your sausages browning and begin chopping your vegetables. Might want to go ahead and put a pot on to boil so you aren't waiting at the last minute. Saute your onions in a little oil until they start to brown and then add your sliced mushrooms and minced garlic. Once your mushrooms are soft toss in the zucchini and sundried tomatoes and top off with a cup or so of white wine (preferably dry), several glugs of cream, one bullion cube (or equiv), and whole rosemary sprigs. Season with salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes to taste. Slice browned sausages and add to the pan. Allow to simmer 10-15 minutes or until sauce is reduced and flavors combine. Go ahead and cook your pasta now. In the last couple minutes (while the pasta is cooking) add the chopped kale to the top of the pan and cover with a lid so that the greens wilt. Drain your pasta and toss with sausage and veg. Dish up and eat with a good grating of Parmesan cheese. It's right tasty. Also, kale is good for you :)
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Beef and Veg Soup with Sweet Potato
Speaking of food I thought I'd better get this recipe down while I remember it. So after all the brew pub burgers and diner fare we enjoyed while traveling through Northern California last week I figured it was time to dial things back about 4 notches and get a little dietary repair work done. Since we hadn't gone grocery shopping since getting back home this soup ended up being a tasty conglomeration of leftover veggies and freezer stash foods. It's a variation of the old classic "brown up some hamburger and toss in a bunch of veggies with some tomato product" that we all know and love. Allen and I both really enjoyed this soup. It's filling but light. I think between the two of us we ate half the pot. I was also excited to see an actual brothy soup emerge instead of the wet casseroles I often make (yeah, umm, I've made soups that have ended up thicker than most stews. It's a habit I'm trying to break.)
Ingredients:
1 1/2lb ground beef
1 large onion (think cat head large)
6 or so carrots
1/2 bag frozen spinach
1/2 bag frozen corn (I used trader joe's roasted corn which I love because you get a great roasted/smokey/char flavor in soups without having to actually roast/smoke/char anything yourself)
1 can diced tomatoes with chilies
2lbs (approx) of peeled, diced sweet potatoes
any other veg you can scrounge out of the fridge (in my case one zucchini and a bell pepper)
seasonings: salt, pepper, garlic, cumin, coriander, cayenne, beef stock
Method:
Just about what you'd expect. Brown your meat together with the onion and quickly saute your veg to start them cooking. I sauteed the sweet potato in a separate pan with some butter, salt, garlic, cumin, and coriander thinking that getting them a little brown might help the flavor, but I can't tell how well that worked. Anyway, once your onion is soft pour in the can of tomatoes, add your frozen veg, stir in a tablespoon of bullion, fill up with water, and simmer until the potatoes are cooked through.
For seasoning I started with basic salt, pepper, and garlic powder (I was out of fresh) to taste and then started playing around with the cumin and coriander. You want enough cumin so that you get a earthy, smoky sort of heat without it going full on tex-mex. I'd start with 3/4 tsp and go from there. Ditto for the coriander. You should taste the coriander but not be overwhelmed by it. Toss in some cayenne to taste.
Serve with some cheddar cheese sprinkled on top.
Ingredients:
1 1/2lb ground beef
1 large onion (think cat head large)
6 or so carrots
1/2 bag frozen spinach
1/2 bag frozen corn (I used trader joe's roasted corn which I love because you get a great roasted/smokey/char flavor in soups without having to actually roast/smoke/char anything yourself)
1 can diced tomatoes with chilies
2lbs (approx) of peeled, diced sweet potatoes
any other veg you can scrounge out of the fridge (in my case one zucchini and a bell pepper)
seasonings: salt, pepper, garlic, cumin, coriander, cayenne, beef stock
Method:
Just about what you'd expect. Brown your meat together with the onion and quickly saute your veg to start them cooking. I sauteed the sweet potato in a separate pan with some butter, salt, garlic, cumin, and coriander thinking that getting them a little brown might help the flavor, but I can't tell how well that worked. Anyway, once your onion is soft pour in the can of tomatoes, add your frozen veg, stir in a tablespoon of bullion, fill up with water, and simmer until the potatoes are cooked through.
For seasoning I started with basic salt, pepper, and garlic powder (I was out of fresh) to taste and then started playing around with the cumin and coriander. You want enough cumin so that you get a earthy, smoky sort of heat without it going full on tex-mex. I'd start with 3/4 tsp and go from there. Ditto for the coriander. You should taste the coriander but not be overwhelmed by it. Toss in some cayenne to taste.
Serve with some cheddar cheese sprinkled on top.
Monday, October 10, 2011
food theology
Lately I've been getting increasingly frustrated with all the food hoopla that's been going around on the internet - largely of the "Don't eat x" crowd with "x" increasingly coming to mean sugar, flour, dairy, coffee, alcohol - basically all the stuff that makes eating fun. Now I've read the blogs, and I know that most people would jump on here telling me how much better they feel and how they really don't miss whatever it is I'm not supposed to be eating and that if they do miss it they just remember the days when they couldn't leap tall buildings and bench press cars and tell me that it's all worth it. The problem is that I don't buy it. That is to say, I don't buy the philosophy that seems to be behind it. A lot of it seems to be driven by speculative forms of evolutionary biology and theories about so called primitive man and doesn't take into account some of the Bible's rather clear teachings on food. For instance, you'll find a whole group of people who will tell you (loudly) that gluten/wheat/grains are bad for you, and I have absolutely no doubt that for some people they are extremely harmful. However, when Christ instituted the Lord's Supper He did it with a baked product made (to the best of my knowledge) from some type of ground grains. Throughout the Bible bread is a powerful image of comfort and provision. God could have chose root vegetables or goat cheese or various other images, but He chooses to tell us about salvation with bread. So, I can't reject bread out of hand. Even if I got to a point where it seemed wise to avoid grains altogether I would have to admit that the problem is with my body and not with the bread. Ditto for things like wine. People who argue for this or that sort of diet (particularly Christians) point out that we have a duty to care for our bodies and keep them in good running order - Christians trot out that old verse about our body being a temple to justify any number of strange eating habits. And yet, few of them consider passages like Colossians 2:16 in which the Church is warned against people who judge other based on what they eat or another passage in Timothy 4 where God talks about the food He's made to be received with thanksgiving. Now I don't want to get simplistic here. Clearly there are some things we shouldn't be eating every day. There are other things we should only be ingesting after careful consideration and for clearly defined reasons (such as prescribed drugs of various kinds). This isn't carte blanche to go and be stupid about a mushroom patch in the woods. There's a whole lot of wisdom to be applied here. What I dislike are the repeated statements about how God designed people to eat as though God handed Eve a poached egg topped with grated carrots and told her to have fun. So maybe Adam and Eve didn't enjoy dark chocolate stout or a creme brulee after their pasta primavera. They also didn't have orthotic footwear, refrigeration, and paved roads. When Adam and Eve set out to cultivate the world I think there's an implied call to growth and maturity that wasn't confined solely to things like architecture and metal working. In fact, I think things like whiskey and soda and pumpernickel bread and chocolate chip cookies are part of that maturation process since they all result from exploring and probing God's creation to get all the goodness out of it that we can. The person who makes chocolate chip cookies takes God's bounty and through grace is allowed to transform that bounty into something even more desirable. It's the same way with babies and iron ore and sheep's wool. God gives us something and gives us the chance to transform it. It's a beautiful thing. That's why it irks me whenever I hear talk about what we were "designed" to eat or how we "evolved" on a certain diet and need to stick with it. We were designed to explore God's creation and shepherd it and transform it against Christ's return. This means, among other things, not acting as though the earth was a library book we had to return in the same condition it was issued.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)