Friday, July 25, 2014

Motherhood is weird

So Allen has crud, so it's mostly been Jacob and I riding the day out with a little help from my MIL who brought us some probiotics and a couple chickens so I could make stock for Allen. It hasn't been a particularly bad day or a stressful day or a good day. It's just been sort of hanging out here, but while I was puttering around this evening it struck me that motherhood is just a little crazy. Let's tally up my interactions with Jacob today. They look a lot like this:

Why does he want to cluster nurse all morning? I need to eat. And pee. I'm thirsty too.

Awwww, he's so cute when he wakes up happy and smiling. I think we'll just lay around and snuggle. I'll eat later.


Whatever, kid. You can fuss a little. Mommy needs to go to the bathroom.

I'm sorry I let you fuss. Let's play with your stacking cups. 

Oh, hey! Facebook. 

Would you be happy playing in the back while I fold laundry? 

No, don't look around when you're hungry. You're hungry. Ok, I put down the phone and closed my laptop. Now eat please.

Cute little sleepy nursing face. 

Sum total of work done load of laundry folded and put away. Hmmmmmm, why don't you play over here while I work? No? Need a nap?

(a hour later)

Ok, tidied stuff up kind of maybe. I should send that e-mail and pretend like I'm a together sort of woman who stays in touch with her friends. Ooops, baby needs me.

I tried to put you to bed before you crashed. I really, really did, but your daddy needed me. I'm sorry I had to put you down while I brushed my teeth.

Don't ever grow up and stop snuggling with me while you sleep. I mean, I don't
actually mean that, but that's not going to happen for another fifty zillion years right?

All throughout the day I cycle back and forth from frustration, through calm interactions, to absolute "smother his face in kisses" adoration and back again. Sometimes I skip one of those steps. Anyway when you think about the constantly changing hormones, the various domestic changes that occur, the personal sins/demons that motherhood rouses, and the madly cycling emotions - motherhood is one trippy experience! I realize that pretty much everyone who writes about motherhood says this, but I figured I'd say it as well I guess :) I love my little guy.

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